In our competitive society, many people are doing their best to out compete others, even teammates. Rather than having such a divisive competitive spirit, effective teen leaders practice a "win-win" mentality. It's not a thinking that says, "How can I make sure I win and he loses" rather its, "We both can win." C.S. Lewis' comment on the egotistical pride states, "Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man."
Before you criticize me with, "This is bull-jive! The real world is ultra-competitive." My response is yes and no. The business and sports world may be highly competitive and I realize this but, practicing a "win-win" mentality will prove to be advantageous for everyone, not just a select few.
For example, let's say your best friend whom you also share a locker with needs to use the top shelf as much as you do. This situation may present itself as only having one winner. HOWEVER, creative thinking can provide a "win-win" situation. How? This next statement reveals the power of "win-win" thinking...
In order to create "win-win" solutions, a leader effectively learns the focus has to become on accomplishing the other person's goals. Pride is the enemy here. A leader must set his goal aside momentarily and ask what the goal or intention of the other person. Once both goals are understood, then creative thinking can act on establishing a "win-win" solution.
Returning to the previous example, let's say you ask your locker partner what his goal is. He states that he believes if he hides his cell phone in the top shelf, it will less likely be stolen. This is his real goal, not necessarily needing the top shelf. For you, you would like to have the top shelf because you are a much taller than average person and it's a better fit. Creative thinking could create several possible solutions to meet both goals: sharing top shelf, using a lock, etc.
Practicing "win-win" thinking requires the following disciplines by the effective teen leader:
- Reject the pride that wants to be on top all of the time
- Learn the goals of others
- Be creative
- Give options for solutions, let others have a "say"
- Think, "How can I help others feel like they win?"
- Practice being happy for others' success even when you lose
One final thought in developing "win-win" thinking is the old phrase, "Better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles with others." How might this relate to "win-win" thinking?
I think that world works on this kind of principles.If everybody would like to lead they wouldnt be no one to lead.Win-win is something that I see as a advantage to everybody and if you are brave enough to accept fact that sometime in your life you will realise that all the world is not concentrated on you.
ReplyDeletePride is something that will come on your way sometimes and make you do things that on right mind you wouldnt do ever in your life but that is what leader needs to go throw and figure out what he wants with his life.
Reject the pride that wants to be on top all of the time,those are some of things that you need to throw aside when are you deciding and use smart ideas such as being creative,learn goals of others and get ready to lead people right way !
I think that win-win is a good way to look at things because it gives each person a chance to be in control of the situation and come up with ideas. Win-win allows everyone to think creativly for a solution. Win-win is a good thing because it doesn't let one person have total control. Smart ideas will come from the win win because both people are thinking of a solution that will satisfy both of them.
ReplyDeleteI think the win-win tool is a good thing to use. It will give you an outcome that is beneficial to both people. Putting your pride aside will help you to come up with a solution faster. I like it because it doesn't let just one person be in control, but both people. Both people get a say in the matter
ReplyDeleteI agree that a problem our society has is that everyone thinks they need to be "above" the next person. Why can't we all just be the same? This isn't really possible for everyone to be equal and if that did happen the World would be very boring. I agree that the "win-win" way of looking at things would be great, if only everyone could be like this. There will always those people who care about their own image and not others. Everyone is guilty of doing this and it is human nature but who says that both people "winning" wouldn't feel just as good if not better than "winning" yourself. Pride can get in the way of achieving a overall goal and that pride needs to come second in life or gain that pride by helping others out.
ReplyDeleteI think that it's not always bad to use your competitiveness to be above all other, but when you let that take control you have some problems. Using "win-win" mentality allows you to accomplish your goals and allow whoever else to accomplish their goals. The main key is communication and creativity of the mind once you figure out those goals. Sure pride comes from winning but wouldn't you feel more pride from helping someone out along the way.
ReplyDeleteThe win-win principle is a very good principle that needs to be applied in our every day life.one of the problems we have in the world right now is people always want to be the ones who win everybody wants to be a leader and put his priorities before others which is not how it should be.in other to work effectively with others you need to be able to come to an understanding with such a person and also consider the persons views
ReplyDeleteI believe that everyone want to win and need a nicer competitive drive though in winning. Win win is good both parties would get something out of it. Everyone wants to be a leader and help people have a win win situation.
ReplyDeleteI think this is really important today because not everything needs to be competitive. We need to start using this everyday. It will give a different outcome and we will all benefit from it. Every leader needs this.
ReplyDeleteI like this win-win principle because it can give what they want while pleasing others as well. For example: if two great players want the ball in basketball, they will sometimes fight for being a "ball hog" and be less productive as a team. The main goal is to win the game so teammates have to work together; and once they work together as a team they would have a better chance of winning. This principle is good for some areas and lets you take the perspective from another persons view, which is always a "positive." People can apply this to their lives in more than just sports too. That's why this is a really good principle to solve disputes.
ReplyDeleteFinding a solution that is win-win is a challenge. You really have to think outside of the box. This makes me think of the fact that you can't please everyone. But you can make a compromise between people. That would make a win-win situation. This is especially important in our society today. People these days are fighting to win. We need to be fight to find a compromise.
ReplyDeleteFinding a win-win solution is usually pretty hard to do, but in the end I think that it's clearly the best way to go and helps both parties achieve what they want. The quote that you posted has to do with win-win because if you can swallow your own pride and accept another's solution it's a lot better for both of you.
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