Become a "Connector"

This cartoon humorously reveals how a particular generation may not understand technology "lingo" but it also reminds me of a valuable truth. Leaders "connect" with people. Like this elderly gentleman, there are many who do not understand this level of connection that makes leaders effective at what they do.

What does it mean to "connect?" Connection exists in a relationship that extends beyond acquaintances, small talk or even "working together with someone." Connection is a criteria leaders can use to measure their success as leaders. A leader who loses his or her connection to those following will soon lose his influence. What does this connection look like?

Connection can be seen when individuals mutually agree on a deeper level, not just through consensus. Connection exists when an emotional bond forms that unites the leader and the other team members. I recently read by John Maxwell that the average person receives around 35,000 messages a day! Many of these messages will not resonate with the soul of a person like a leader can connect with team members. This type of connection gives the leaders influence!

How does a leader "connect?"

1. Sincere communication - A leader must make genuine eye contact with genuine listening where the communication can safely go beyond just "surface talk." Sincere communication develops from one who has sincere empathy.

2. Enthusiasm - People are drawn to those who demonstrate "positive energy" or enthusiasm. People like to connect with those who demonstrate passion, energy and feed great about a worthy cause. Leaders must be energetic in how they interact with people. Warning: Too much energy and, well, we all know those individuals who take this to the extreme and scare people away! Don't overdo it!

3. "Others Oriented" - When a leader goes the extra mile to learn about another person, this person is more likely to open up and develop a rapport with the leader. What makes this happen is a quality all leaders must possess and that is initiative. Leaders must take the first step towards developing relationships so "connection" exists in a team.

Connection is what makes good leaders great. Everyone has the ability to connect! Connection is not dependent upon position! Without connection, you will be like this powerful electric generator that is detached from any power grid or something needing energy. What a waste! Connection is not difficult to develop, leaders need to be courageous to change!

Myths of Leadership

Martin Luther King, Jr has often been quoted that the measure of a man cannot be seen in times of comfort but where he stands in times of adversity. In difficult moments, the true values, convictions and beliefs of the leader surface. Sometimes the leader himself does not realize what the foundation of his or her life had been until adversity reveals it. Leaders must face the difficult realities of the influence he or she has the privilege of obtaining. One in pursuit of great leadership cannot deny these realities. Coming to grips with these realities, certain myths must be exposed.

Myth #1: Leadership is found in position. Many are in pursuit of certain positions in life believing lies that the position is what holds the success or influence. Many find as they "climb the ladder" certain compromises are made that go against his or her core values slowly decaying the foundation that makes great leaders great. Rather than being in pursuit of the position, pursue the character needed for the position and the promotions will occur at the appropriate times. Leadership is influence, period. Great leaders have influence with or without position.

Myth #2: Leadership is innate. In other words, many believe great leaders are born with the natural ability to lead. There may be some truth to this as innate personalities and temperaments certainly gift individuals with abilities and skills to lead. However, EVERYONE has the ability to develop the leader within them. The key is learning what defines leadership and the foundation of leadership is character. Everyone has the ability to develop character and as this character manifests itself through one's personality, skills and abilities the "uniqueness" of that person's leadership is revealed.

Myth #3: Leadership is easy. This is probably the most obvious myth of leadership and most widely accepted for those who have attempted leadership. Developing great leadership abilities and skills takes time and a lot of effort. More than just a lot of effort, this effort must be a focused effort. The type of effort needed must be rooted in purposeful leadership - a purpose higher than just self-fulfillment. When leaders have a purpose aimed at benefiting others, he or she finds additional strength to work through adversity and hindrances.

Count the cost. Knowing the challenges and costs ahead of time prepares one's expectations of the realities of leadership and helps avoid the pitfalls of falling prey to the myths of leadership.

Leading While Staying Connected

John Maxwell once said, "Leaders need to be close enough to people to lead them but far ahead enough to motivate them." This couldn't be more true. Think of your great, influential teachers in your life. They were not "buddies" but "mentors." Leaders look to stay one step ahead of those he or she is leading. What benefits arise as a result of such leadership?

1. Direction - The leader who steps out in front of others and pursues a vision first must chart the course for others. Charting this course gives direction and helps those following make the right decisions to help fulfill the vision.

2. Counsel - The leader who take the initiative must learn the troubleshooting solutions first and can provide advice for others before they face similar adversity. Furthermore, when receiving advice from someone who has "been there, done that" makes the advice more credible.

3. Connection - The leader who connects with his or her followers always keeps a hand out to help. When you feel "connected" to a leader, it's much easier to take risks to accomplish goals or the vision. Without the "connection" people are less likely to step out of their comfort zone and follow where the leader leads. Connection is the bridge that keeps the leader and followers working together as a team.

Discuss what ways a leader can do two things:

a) Stay Connected

b) Stay Ahead and Motivate

No Results?

No Results? How frustrating when you carefully word a key word search using an online search engine and you are left with no results?! In a like manner, how frustrating is it when you create a plan to accomplish something and following a whole-hearted commitment to achieve it, you feel like the return message is, "No results...try again."

Defeating. Discouraging. Frustrating! What a leader responds with in these times reveals a lot about his or her outlook on leadership. What should a leader do when he or she feels the achievement is zero? Goals are not being met? His leadership is losing favor with others? Below are some tips on dealing with setbacks or the lack of results.

1. Regroup. Gather your team in and revisit the vision and mission. Remind yourself and your team why it is you are pursuing a particular achievement. Often, setbacks or hurdles serve as valuable times to refine your vision or renew your motivation.

2. Reflect. Reflect on your influence as a leader. Ask yourself the tough questions, "Am I putting in more time than others? Am I asking too much of others? What can I do different to inspire others to achieve?"

3. Renew. Sometimes, a sense of renewal is needed to re-energize the team to achieve. It's not a matter of working harder or re-planning anything. Sometimes, the leadership just needs a sense of inspiration. Revisiting the purpose and hope behind the vision often gives a sense of inspiration.

4. Refine. Set-backs and the lack of results may cause one to refine the goals or plan of action. The vision is fine, the leadership is fine and the team is fine. Problem? Wrong plan of action. As a team, collaborate on how a better "road map" could be established to achieve a vision.

Big Picture? Effective leaders are not content with "Sorry, your search led you to no results" messages or achievements. Leaders see these as opportunities to implement effective problem solving.

Don't like the results you get? Change what you do!

Conforming 101

I've been struck with the concept lately that conformity can be a good thing AND a bad thing. First of all, conformity happens. Period. You conform to whatever you give your heart to. Studies have now shown that spouses are more likely to adopt the "bad habits" of the other spouse. Studies also reveal we tend to conform to who we hang out with, what we listen to, what we watch, etc. HOWEVER, conformity can be a good thing....

My greatest compliment as a parent came to me recently. What was it? Realizing one of my kids wants to be just like me. Here, conformity is a good thing. My point? We need to be careful that we are conforming to right standards of character, communication and leadership. If for no other reason, so that those trusting in our leadership will also conform towards greatness as well. No greater compliment could be given than seeing those "followers" desiring to be like you.

What's key then? Focusing on what we should be conforming to helps us avoid conforming to what is negative in nature. When we purpose to conform to greatness and bear that greatness daily, we are that light bulb that reminds other light bulbs what our purpose is and what could be possible.

Leadership helps others conform to what we are currently trying to conform to also.

Picture taken from http://faithoncampus.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/stand_out.jpg

Mistakes....Not Failures

The Hall of Fame UCLA Men's Basketball Coach, John Wooden used to say, "Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. If you prepare properly, you may be outscored but you will never lose." In my short tenure as a teacher, coach and adviser, I have come to recognize a majority of student leaders are easily defeated. Too often plans or performances do not go as expected and the all too common reaction is an overwhelming sense of failure. No big deal, right? NO! It IS a big deal. What happens all too often is this failure turns into defeat, an act of submission by one's will to discontinue his or her efforts towards improvement. In other words, defeat leads one to quit.

John Wooden would also add to this quote by stating how he would not fail BUT he would make mistakes. His perspective on failures resulting in seeing failures as setbacks and opportunities to learn and improve. We've heard this before and maybe too much in that the truthfulness of this perspective has lost its influence on our motivation and will to live and succeed.

The difference between leaders who fail and succeed comes down to how each handles failure. Many great leaders, as John Wooden has stated, assumes and accepts failure will happen. The difference in those who become great and accomplish greatness is they understand failure is NOT the same as defeat. See failures as a means of growth and necessary to develop one's character, vision and leadership.

Look back at your last defeat. Was it as crippling as you felt at the time? How could a different perspective on failure lead to a new sense of improvement?

Picture taken from http://kennysilva.net/failure-is-not-my-identity/

Leadership Attributes

What do GREAT leaders do differently from the average person that make them great or influential? This all important question is necessary to answer to start the journey of developing into an influential leader. As I reflected on my own answer to this question, a few people came to mind, one in particular, my High School Cross Country Coach...

Former College All-American, he was everything I idolized as an athlete. Successful, popular, likeable, and the list goes on. What made him stand out among the other leaders and mentors in my life? He connected with me. He connected with people. He connected with EVERYONE. And, he connected with people through a genuine, sincere spirit. People trust him including myself. Little did I know at the time how much my life would be different now as a result of his influence on my life!

Finishing an eight mile run around Lake Geode, I was exhausted and extremely frustrated with a teammate of mine (underclassman) for taking a short cut to beat me. I was furious. However, how my Coach handled this taught me an important lesson. He simply asked me, "Well, you can't change him or the circumstances, what could you change? As a team leader, how are you going to handle this?" I soon realized I had a lot to learn.

Following the season, I continued to meet with this Coach of mine on a weekly basis into the first half of my first year of college. Those times forever shaped my faith and beliefs about leadership.

What made him so influential in my life? Here are a few things of his character that reveals the virtue in which my life (as well as others) were influenced:

1. He genuinely cared

2. Relationships were more important than winning

3. Consistent - there were no surprises to how he dealt with issues of life

4. Communication - he listened before he spoke

5. Priorities - it became obvious he lived his life with the most important people in mind first

Before you desire to influence others, how have you been influenced to become the leader you are aspiring to be now?